A warning, gentle readers...this post is LONG. It is more essay than blog post. It is an important issue for me...as an educator, as a parent, as a global citizen. As one who was bullied and one who bullied. It needs to stop.
Cyberbullying is a term bandied about, as
bullying is a prominent issue in education now. Kids were able to move from
schoolyard beatings and stuffing garbage cans with the smaller and weaker to
the internet. Oh, and now it isn’t about the biggest and strongest, it can be
anyone with connectivity (mobile phone, smart phone, computer, etc) Ah, the
joys of technology. So while it is easy to dish out punishments for school
infractions, what happens with the attacks are outside of school…not on school
grounds; not on school computers; not having anything to do with school, other
than the people involved attend school? A big struggle for education systems. I
am a big proponent of bullying awareness programs (I have been through
training, as well), and believe it is important for schools to address ANY
forms of bullying (including teachers). Bullying can range from simple peer
pressure all the way to physical and/or sexual assault. Pretty easy to figure
out when something physical has taken place (less so with sexual harassment,
but there are at least guidelines to follow), the police can get involved if
needed, and doesn’t matter if it happened on school grounds or a mall parking
lot. Cyberbullying is a lot tougher to figure out. I would argue, that like
physical assaults, cyberattacks are matters for law enforcement. I would also
argue that cyberbullying is not limited to school age kids testing their limits
and not quite understanding the damage they are doing to others…it is something
adults play around in, and even news organizations participate.
Let’s start out with the most disgusting case
of cyberbullying (is why I think it should be renamed cyberassualt) that I can
think of…the case of a young 13 year old girl named Megan
Meier.
In 2006, MySpace reigned as the supreme
social networking site for millions of teens and young adults. Although the age
to join was 14, Megan, with the permission of her parents, got signed up for an
account. For a child with a history of depression and suicidal thoughts (she
was in counseling), it seemed like a great way for her to connect with friends
outside of school. Soon she got an invitation become friends with a good
looking 16 year old boy named “Josh” and an online relationship began. Josh
eventually got very mean with Megan (after a long relationship of being kind)
and sent a last message to Megan that read, “Everybody
in O’Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you.
Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without
you.” Megan committed suicide. That would have been a horrible story about teen relationships gone bad and a
terrible loss of a 13 year old girl, as well as a horrific burden for a 16 year
old boy to carry the rest of his life. EXCEPT…it was a 47 year old woman…a
friend of the Meier family…that created a fake account and pretended to be
Josh. Seriously? This messed up woman did this to a kid? Lori Drew garnered
national attention with this and MySpace and cyberbullying became a major news
item (and Texas cheerleader moms thank her for pulling the attention away from
them). After a drawn out legal battle, Ms. Drew was charged and convicted by a jury, but had it overruled by the judge.
No jail time/no punishment (from the courts…remember Lori Drew, though. I come
back to her in a bit…)
Since 2006 MySpace is passe’ and it is now
all about Facebook and the issues followed. In 2010 a 15 year old immigrant
from Ireland, Phoebe Prince, killed herself after being cyberbullied.
The young
girl was the target of hazing from girls that were allegedly upset that she had
dated an older student. Regular teenage crap, right? Sure…bullying, but something kids
learn to deal with as they grow up. Mean girls were around long before the
Internet. Except these mean girls did both physical assaults and cyberassualts.
Add to that when the meanness continues past the school day and involves not
just a few people, but an online community that can include most students in
the school? Well, for Phoebe Prince it meant severe depression enough to end
her young life. Nine teenagers (thugs) were charged in the case, and the
prosecuting attorney called Prince's suicide
"the culmination of a nearly three-month campaign of verbally assaultive
behavior and threats of physical harm…The investigation revealed relentlessactivity directed toward Phoebe, designed to humiliate her and to make itimpossible for her to remain at school…The bullying, for her, became
intolerable." In addition, two of the older boys were charged with statutory
rape. Sounds like a pretty clear case. Had these students been adults, sounds
like physical assault, threats of physical assault, harassment would be enough
to convict. For the two older thugs charged with statuary rape, they WERE
adults at the time. Well, Massachusetts didn’t think so. Charges against 4 ofthe 9 were dropped and of the 5 charged, none received jail time (just probation). Justice?
Mr. Clementi was a shy freshman
student who was secretly recorded in a homosexual encounter by his roommate,
Dharun Ravi. Ravi used a webcam to stream the incident
out over the net. Hell of guy, eh? Funny stuff, right? He posted on his Twitter
account: “Roommate asked for the room till
midnight. I went into molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making
out with a dude. Yay”
Tyler didn’t think it was so funny. He was so
humiliated by the exposure that he posted a goodbye message on Facebook andjumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge. This was 2010. It is
back in the news now, because Ravi was just sentenced in the case. He got 30days jail time. 30 days jail time, even though he was convicted on all 15 counts
brought against him and even though the judge critized Ravi during the trial
for never apologizing or even showing remorse. Were the judges hands tied and
30 days was the max he could give? No. He could have gotten much worse
(including deportation). Even the parents testimony that from the start, Ravi
was rude to their son didn’t sway the judge at sentencing, and was apparent
that the court was more concerned with Ravi’s future than punishment fittingthe crime. Cyberbullying? Having ANY encounter streamed out on the web
(romantic or not) is a clear cyberassault in my book.
Rhavi and his lawyer very pleased with the results at sentencing. Scumbags
Judge Glenn Berman...you are pathetic.
Sexting. In
addition to being distribution of child pornography (even if done by children),
it can be bullying, as well. If you aren’t aware of the term, it refers to
sending sexual messages or sexual pictures through mobile phones. Most phones
have cameras…texts can carry pictures…why not send naked pictures of yourself
to a loved one? As we have learned from high profile celebrity sex tapes, those
things always remain private, right? Duh.
It is pretty obvious when you get adults involved that there is a crime.
Last week a high school’s teacher of the year was charged with sending a 15year old girl pictures of his genitals and encouraging her to send sexual pictures of herself. He had started an online relationship with the student
through…wait for it…Facebook, that then progressed to sexual images and
messages. So this dirt bag is going to go away for a long time won’t ever get a
teaching job again. Problem solved for him. What about with kids, though? A recent study shows that sexting is on the rise with not only teens but preteens! How does this relate to bullying? As mentioned earlier, this
stuff doesn’t stay with one person. What teenage boy is not going to forward on
a picture of a naked girl…even a naked girlfriend? Well, the boy that 13 yearold Hope Witsell sent a sexting picture of her breasts didn’t keep it to himself.
It went viral through the school. Kids can be cruel, but some went so
far to actually create a MySpace page to torment her. The pressure was so
intense, the child felt her only option was to kill herself. Sexting is a clear path to cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying
doesn’t just happen in the school yard. Internet vigilantes have taken attacks to a whole other level. Now to be fair, I like
some of it. Somebody does something stupid or even illegal…and gets away with. Enter
the internet vigilantes to set wrong to right. Like a cyber-cowboy…keyboard
a’blazing! My favorite story on I found researching this article…back to the
piece of human debris, Lori Drew. The judge may have overturned the jury in
convicting her, but the good folks at the website, People You’ll See in Hell, thought differently. They
posted her picture and a very well researched story (including the police
report) to show what an utterly disgusting individual Lori Drew actually is…and
her picture…picture of her house, etc.
Lori Drew is a worthless scumbag. Is this bullying? I hope so.
I guess Lori’s business and community status has really
suffered…poor consolation for the family of Megan
Meier (who still live four houses away from Drew), but something. So I like
stuff like this. My first ever internet vigilante
story I remember was the “dog poop lady” of Korea (was actually dog something
else, but this is a family blog). I read about the dog poop lady back when it
happened. A young woman did not clean up after her dog on the subway…was told
to…ignored it…and somebody posted their images online.
Dog poop lady...and elderly people cleaning it up.
It went viral in Korea
(and I actually read about it living on Guam) and the woman was so tormented
(people would recognize her in the street) that she quit her job and moved. Okay, had to quit her job and move just because she didn’t clean
up after her dog? Well, probably harsh (although, those kind of self-entitled
people drive me nuts…and apparently get under the skin of a lot of Koreans,
too). It can (and does) go to far, though.
There is
also just bullying using the internet that has nothing to do with Internet
vigilantes, but do the same approach. Posting embarrassing pictures of people
or out of context videos. Another video that went viral was a CaliforniaState University, Northridge student “freaking out” in a library. It is pretty
clear that the people that videotaped her were tormenting and encouraging
her…and she started yelling in a library during finals week. I hesitated on
posting the video, as I think this girl was a victim, but at over 2 million
hits, my little blog article isn’t going to make it go “extra viral”. I concur
with the “top comment” on YouTube: “I currently go to
CSUN and it's finals week right now. I can vouch that although this woman
handled the situation badly, she had every right to be upset. Every day I go to
the library to study, there is at least one person/group that it extremely
obnoxious and inconsiderate of the other 95% of students trying to study. She
pays $7000 + a year to study; she should be able to use the library services
she has paid for. The other girls sound ignorant and rude”
The story also became pretty racist…Asian student acting out, etc, instead of
student pissed off that loud people were talking in a library during finals
week with no action on the part of the employees of the college. Or even a
YouTube-made celebraty like Rebecca Black! The thirteen year old girl that
became an Internet sensation with her self-posted video, “Friday.”
She received death threats among the terrible things posted about her. A
teenager that just posted a song that somehow got famous. The news is also
involved, I think, with a form of cyberbullying. Just yesterday I saw a story
posted about a University of Georgia professor arrested for prostitution. Hmmm.
Probably news for Georgia, but why a national story? Oh, because the 60’ish
male professor was dressed as a woman when he solicited an undercover
officer…okay…OH, but there is a picture, too!
So this professor, who normally would be an oddity in Georgia, is now an
international oddity. Is that fair? Sure it is legal (and sure, I clicked on
the link not thinking of this article), but is it right? What about the Texas couple that had their farm dug up on the hunch of a psychic? Police not only moved in on their farm and started digging…but
they brought camera crews! Then…there is one I admit that I really like that is nothing but
cyberbullying. People of Walmart. Yikes. I hate to admit it, but this site makes me cry sometimes I
am laughing so hard. It is nothing but pictures of pathetic people whose only
reason for being posted online is that they are pathetic. Posted for our
amusement. Where we used to just laugh in the moment when we see someone like
those portrayed (well, those bullies among us laughed), now these folks are
distributed for all to see! This one in particular sent me into conniptions of
laughter.
Wow.
Okay…funny
stuff. Or is it. This is someone’s daughter…perhaps someone’s mother. Certainly
there are people that love this woman and there she is…posted on People of
Walmart and most certainly somebody will recognize her. Classmates of her grade
school age child perhaps? “Your mom is on People of Walmart for back boobs!”
Nice. Buzz kill when it is personalized, right? Damn, I hope it is a buzz kill.
If not, yes, you are probably a bully. Sure it is legal to post pics of these
folks…but again, is it right?
Cyberbullying
is a big issue. Bigger than schools…and becoming a big part of our society.
Through the Internet people can become instant celebrities…whether they want to
or not. There is help out there:
Probably the
simplest way to stop bullying…cyber or otherwise…treat people like you would
like to be treated…online or in person.
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